Do you have a choice? Absolutely!
There are two ways to look at problems in your life. You may look at the symptom and figure out how to fix it. Or you may look at the whole picture and realize that everything is connected; so if one part hurts, then all parts must be examined.
Most doctors of modern Western medicine take the first approach.
Your stomach hurts? Well here are the known causes and possible solutions for stomach aches. Your head hurts? Well these are the known causes and possible solutions for head aches.
But rarely does a doctor relate your stomach hurting to your marriage falling apart or your manager driving you mad.
Yes, they emphasize that you should reduce stress in your life, although, what does that exactly mean?
And how does the average patient draw the vital connection between stress and the terrible havoc it can cause so they can take as much urgency in reducing stress as they do in popping pills or scheduling surgery?
A holistic approach to healing can do wonders even at just the awareness level. But it’s not just reserved for your mind and body healing. It can also apply to your career!
You can “heal” your career woes by taking a holistic approach. You do this by solving the cause and not the symptom of your career struggles.
The idea is to use introspection to get to clarity first.
What do you really mean when you say “I Hate My Job!”
Take for example the universal “I hate my job!” statement. I’ve said it at least a million times in the past so it’s a good old example to start with. For your own sake, I hope you can’t relate but chances are, you’ve said it at least once in your life.
So is the source of the problem definitely your job then? And can you be absolutely certain that is the case?
Or is it possible that you hate your job because you hate something about yourself when you are in that job?
Maybe the job brings out a part of you that you do not wish to expose in public? Maybe you have to face some inner demons in the process of doing your job and they remind you of a limitation in your abilities?
For example, you need to interact with unhappy customers and it reminds you of your extreme shyness and paranoia in the face of any conflict. You know that you are physically safe and nobody can hurt you but your mind does not process this information so you are terrified every time an angry customer expresses his discontent.
So then is it possible that you hate these cruel reminders that your job gives you about yourself and not the job itself?
Is it possible still that you actually hate your self-limiting beliefs that cause that extreme shyness in the first place, which has nothing to do with the job itself?
Asking questions can open doors you may not wish to open, but clarity is the way to the truth. Walk this path over other ones.
Did you know this happens when you don’t know the real why?
Let me explain why it matters so much to nail exactly why you hate your job.
If you don’t know precisely why you hate the job, you will set out to solve your problem with the wrong solutions. In other words, you won’t be solving it at all!
Case in point: When I was in my corporate job, I hated my job passionately more than once. The funny thing (it’s only funny now) is that the problem was never my job itself so much as my ability to function properly as a corporate employee.
But I didn’t get this at the time so I kept fixing the problem with the wrong solutions.
First I thought I hated my job because I was grossly underpaid, so I found a new job until I doubled my compensation. And I still hated my job. Just more passionately.
Then I thought I hated my job because I hated my boss so I moved around until I found a boss that I adored. And I was still miserable and still hated my job.
And this happened because I kept solving the problem with the wrong solutions and that is because I did not truly understand the cause behind the symptoms. I did not understand the real why.
Use the symptoms as a sign but understand the cause of your career struggles before you start solving them.
Getting to clarity must be your first priority.
For me, the cause of my misery was that I was a complete misfit as a corporate employee and I did not see that because I avoided introspection, which the dictionary beautifully defines as “the examination or observation of one’s own mental and emotional processes: quiet introspection can be extremely valuable.”
Use introspection to get to the core of your problem. Peel one layer at a time with query upon query.
Next time you say, “I hate my boss!”, go into the mirror and have a conversation with yourself.
Do I really hate my boss? What do I hate about him? His personality? His management style? His attitude?
Do I hate the nature of my relationship with him? Does this apply to any of my other relationships?
Do I hate the criticism and feedback that he gives me? Does this relate to how I react to critique in general?
Or do I just resent the idea of having a boss? Which means I would hate any boss because I don’t want to have a boss?
You see, with each question and answer, you get closer and closer to the core and further away from symptoms and assumptions, which can lead you astray.
The first thing I do with my clients during our business coaching sessions is to get to the core of the problem. We do this before we work on powerful and effective solutions to eradicate the problem. Don’t skip this step as you work out your career woes!
When you know exactly why you are unhappy at your job and why you utter those “I hate … ” statements, you are more than halfway home! This is the beauty of clarity.
And when you come to the right cause, the real core, you will know it instantly because when you stumble upon your truth, you just feel it. It’s unmistakable. It’s clear as a bell. It makes you stand up and say, “That’s it! That’s why I am unhappy, stuck and trapped. Now let’s go fix it!”
So do you know the truth behind why you are unhappy at your job? Do you know the cause of your career woes? Start there. And if you want some help brainstorming, hit me up for a coaching session!
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